Review: If You Stay by Courtney Cole

If You Stay

Author: Courtney Cole

Publisher: Lakehouse Press

24-year old Pax Tate is an asshole. 
Seriously. 

He’s a tattooed, rock-hard bad-boy with a bad attitude to match. 

But he’s got his reasons. 

His mother died when Pax was seven, leaving a hole in his heart filled with guilt although he doesn’t understand why. What he does know is that he and his dad are left alone and with more issues than they can count. 

As Pax grew up, he tried to be the kid his father always wanted; the perfect golden boy, but it didn’t work. His dad couldn’t overcome his grief long enough to notice and Pax couldn’t keep up the impossible perfect façade. 
So he slipped far, far from it. 

Now, he uses drugs and women to cope with the ugliness, the black void that he doesn’t want to deal with. If he pretends that the emptiness isn’t there, then it isn’t, right? 
Wrong. 

And it’s never more apparent than when he meets Mila. 
Sweet, beautiful Mila Hill is the fresh air to his hardened frown, the beauty to his ugly heart. He doesn’t know how to not hurt her, but he quickly realizes that he’s got to figure it out because he needs her to breathe.

When memories of his mother’s death resurface from where he’s repressed them for so long, Mila is there to catch him when the guilt starts making sense. Mila is the one…the one who can save him from his broken troubled heart; from his issues, from the emptiness. 

But only if he can stop being an asshole long enough to allow it. 

He knows that. And he’s working on it. 

But is that enough to make her stay?

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Right from the beginning, I could tell that Pax was one messed  up dude. This book doesn't waste anytime in showing us just how screwed up his life is. He is so opposite from Mila and I know they say "opposites attract" but I had a hard time believing that she would be so welcoming and forthcoming with him right away, considering her first impression. 

I liked Mila but I wasn't "in love" with her. She was a really sweet girl but she was too trusting and too naive. I didn't care for Pax at first because he was a spoiled trust fund kid who messed up his life. However, he did grow on me because he was willing to become a better person for Mila and he truly put in the effort. 

I thought the book was well written and the author did a great job of adding a little mystery to the story with regards to Pax's life. She kept me intrigued with desire to know what had happened to him to make him the way he was. The plot flowed well and the story wasn't at all predictable. Overall, this was an enjoyable read and a good book. I also really love this cover.

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Favorite Qoute:

"I'll never tell her because she would just wave her hand and tell me that I'm the one who fixed things, that I put in the work. She never takes enough credit. So I'll just have to love her every day of her life as a thank you. It's enough that I know the truth." ~Pax (If You Stay by Courtney Cole)

IPOD Picks:

"Not Over You" by Gavin Degraw

"Arms" by Christina Perri

"Apologies" by Grace Potter & The Nocturnals

Sources: 

Synopsis: Goodreads

Cover Photo: Goodreads